growing up is hard to do....

where are you?

im here....

where are you?

im here...

where are you?

im here,... you just couldnt feel me..

why are you leaving?

im not..

why are you leaving?

im not....

why are you leaving?

listen,.. im not. im right here. im just growing up....
changing. evolving. moving. everything..... but im staying...

where are you?

mom....
im here....

beranjak dewasa

seorang ibu berwajah durja berdiri dipenghujung jalan setapak menuju surga
sekepak sayap malaikat mendekat, menyapa dibalik jubah putihnya yang pekat

"wahai wajah durja pejalan surga,.... apa yang membuat mu menghentikan perjalanmu?"
"anakku... aku kehilangan seorang anak lelaki-ku.... ia berhenti pulang kepada-ku, ia berhenti mendengarkan nasihat ku, ia berhenti melihat ku, ...."
"wahai wajah durja pejalan surga,... tak mungkin ia kembali pulang kepadamu, karena rumahnya adalalah semesta,.. tak mungkin ia mendengarkan nasihat mu lagi karena gurunya adalah hidupnya, tak mungkin ia kembali melihat mu lagi, karena mata-nya telah penuh dengan cahaya..."
"aku begitu kehilanganya...... ia sudah pergi meninggalkan ku..."
"wahai wajah durja pejalan surga.... buka hati mu seluas samudra... ia tidak pernah pergi, ia tidak pernah acuh, dan ia bukan buta.... sesungguhnya ia hanya beranjak dewasa...."
"tapi...."
"shhh..... ia hanya telah beranjak dewasa bukan seperti yang kau inginkan.... sesederhana itu!!.."

seorang ibu tetaplah seorang ibu,
seorang orang tua tetaplah seorang-orang tua,...
manusia tetaplah manusia,...
seorang anak tetaplah seorang anak,...
keinginan tetaplah sebuah keinginan..
pegharapan tetaplah sebuah pengharapan...
berjalanlah dijalan setapak menuju surga....
tapi jangan kau berharap menepi sampai pada pintunya
karena sebenarnya kau telah berjalan didalamnya, dibalik pintunya....
kau hanya perlu membuka mata

sex, ,love and compassion

These three things are to be taken note of: the lowest love is sex - it is physical - and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Sex is below love, compassion is above love; love is exactly in the middle.

Very few people know what love is. Ninety-nine percent of people, unfortunately, think sexuality is love - it is not. Sexuality is very animal; it certainly has the potential of growing into love, but it is not actual love, only a potential....

If you become aware and alert, meditative, then sex can be transformed into love. And if your meditativeness becomes total, absolute, love can be transformed into compassion. Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance.

Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation. When your love is not just a desire for the other, when your love is not only a need, when your love is a sharing, when your love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when your love is not asking for something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. That is compassion; compassion is the highest phenomenon.

Osho Zen, Zest, Zip, Zap and Zing Chapter 3

love..

delicate and yet strong

vanished when its not yet finished

masculine beneath the soften veil

demise before even reborn

rigid under the ductile shell

absent without existing

imagining through an emty void

with nothingness as my bride

and contentness as my groom

(my deepest fear of all time....)

Freedom to doubt

This is the only distinction between the dream and the real: reality allows you to doubt, and the dream does not allow you to doubt....

To me, the capacity to doubt is one of the greatest blessings to humanity.

The religions have been enemies because they have been cutting the very roots of doubt, and there is a reason why they have been doing that: because they want people to believe in certain illusions that they have been preaching....

Why have the people like Gautam Buddha been so insistent that the whole existence - except your witnessing self, except your awareness - is just ephemeral, made of the same stuff as dreams are made of? They are not saying that these trees are not there.

They are not saying that these pillars are not there.

Don't misunderstand because of the word "illusion".... It has been translated as illusion, but illusion is not the right word. Illusion does not exist. Reality exists.

Maya is just in between - it almost exists.

As far as day-to-day activities are concerned, it can be taken as reality.

Only in the ultimate sense, from the peak of your illumination, does it become unreal,

illusory.

Osho The Great Zen Master Ta Hui Chapter 12

seek me!

seek me...

under thousand layered of suffering

behind eleven doors of questions
seek me..

stacked beside hundreds of sins

and millions prayers in between
seek me..

not somewhere behind

but somewhere beyond..

present and the time after...
one step ahead from tomorrow

standing tall upon the graveyard of yesterday
seek me...

behind all the shade of joy

and under every cups of quotes of wisdom prayers.
seek me...

between heaven and happiness

between grieve and hell

between contentness and solitude
seek me...

somewhere inside and somewhere outside..
seek me ..

and you shall find me!

with the rest of everybody

starring at the same two moon of doubt

under the same one whole magenta sky

with a million sparkling smile..

seek me..

and you'll find me

lying beside you

covered with eternity

why oh why

indiana jones always says : "snakes?? why does it have to be snakes..?"
and sometimes the answer is: "just because..."
as simple as that...

"death, why its have to be death?..."
"problems?, why we have to confront problems?"
"life? why life have to be this difficult?"

and finally..

"love, why the answer is always have to be love??"

and again the answer is: "just because..."
and without "because.."there is no such thing as "why"
sometimes... all we need is a simple "why" and a simple "because"

as simpe is that...

love what you do !

Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative. All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!

Osho A Sudden Clash of Thunder Chapter 4