and da saga continue...
another chapter of "seeking the true meaning of Happiness..)
Michael Argyle developed the Oxford Happiness Questionnaire[11] as a broad measure of psychological well-being. This has been criticized as an aggregate of self-esteem, sense of purpose, social interest and kindness, sense of humor and aesthetic appreciation.
Though it may be impossible to achieve any comprehensive measure of happiness objectively, some physiological correlates to happiness can be measured through a variety of techniques. Stefan Klein, in his book The Science of Happiness, links the dynamics of neurobiological systems (i.e., dopaminergic, opiate) to the concepts and findings of positive psychology and social psychology
Sunday, November 01, 2009
happiness
What is happines??
un-defined... and TOTALLY subjective matter..
cannot be measured.. therefore it's blissfully tangible ...
Synonyms: ( from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/happiness )
1, 2. pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity imply an active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction. Happiness results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good: the happiness of visiting one's family. ( this is a total bollocks, why in the world we would seek happiness else where but our selves ?? why human always put happiness in attainment of goods outside them selves....ridiculous! ) Bliss is unalloyed happiness or supreme delight: the bliss of perfect companionship. Contentment is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified: contentment in one's surroundings. Felicity is a formal word for happiness of an especially fortunate or intense kind: to wish a young couple felicity in life.( arghhh.... now you connected happiness to felicity - free from suffering ?? with fortune ?? happiness is beyond those stuff..., happiness is when u no longer need felicity nor fortune,.. wassup with ya people ?? )
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happiness
Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.[1]
Philosophers and religious thinkers often define happiness in terms of living a good life, or flourishing, rather than simply as an emotion. Happiness in this older sense was used to translate the Greek Eudaimonia, and is still used in virtue ethics.
Happiness forms a central theme of Buddhist teachings. For ultimate freedom from suffering
In Catholicism, the ultimate end of human existence consists in felicity (Latin equivalent to the Greek eudaimonia), or "blessed happiness", described by the thirteenth-century philosopher-theologian Thomas Aquinas as a Beatific Vision of God's essence in the next life
in the Nicomachean Ethics, written in 350 B.C.E., Aristotle stated that happiness (also being well and doing well) is the only thing that humans desire for its own sake, unlike riches, honor, health or friendship. He observed that men sought riches, or honor, or health not only for their own sake but also in order to be happy. Note that eudaimonia, the term we translate as "happiness", is for Aristotle an activity rather than an emotion or a state.
so what is happiness anyway? why its so important for us to find or define or seek one true happiness?? cant we just erase it from human vocabulary, it might will make our life more simple in a way...
un-defined... and TOTALLY subjective matter..
cannot be measured.. therefore it's blissfully tangible ...
Synonyms: ( from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/happiness )
1, 2. pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity imply an active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction. Happiness results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good: the happiness of visiting one's family. ( this is a total bollocks, why in the world we would seek happiness else where but our selves ?? why human always put happiness in attainment of goods outside them selves....ridiculous! ) Bliss is unalloyed happiness or supreme delight: the bliss of perfect companionship. Contentment is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified: contentment in one's surroundings. Felicity is a formal word for happiness of an especially fortunate or intense kind: to wish a young couple felicity in life.( arghhh.... now you connected happiness to felicity - free from suffering ?? with fortune ?? happiness is beyond those stuff..., happiness is when u no longer need felicity nor fortune,.. wassup with ya people ?? )
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happiness
Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.[1]
Philosophers and religious thinkers often define happiness in terms of living a good life, or flourishing, rather than simply as an emotion. Happiness in this older sense was used to translate the Greek Eudaimonia, and is still used in virtue ethics.
Happiness forms a central theme of Buddhist teachings. For ultimate freedom from suffering
In Catholicism, the ultimate end of human existence consists in felicity (Latin equivalent to the Greek eudaimonia), or "blessed happiness", described by the thirteenth-century philosopher-theologian Thomas Aquinas as a Beatific Vision of God's essence in the next life
in the Nicomachean Ethics, written in 350 B.C.E., Aristotle stated that happiness (also being well and doing well) is the only thing that humans desire for its own sake, unlike riches, honor, health or friendship. He observed that men sought riches, or honor, or health not only for their own sake but also in order to be happy. Note that eudaimonia, the term we translate as "happiness", is for Aristotle an activity rather than an emotion or a state.
so what is happiness anyway? why its so important for us to find or define or seek one true happiness?? cant we just erase it from human vocabulary, it might will make our life more simple in a way...
Friday, October 30, 2009
laugh while you can..
ha ha ha hi hi hi ho ho ho... laugh while you can, put the cruelty behind those smiles. i love to see your cheeks move up, just forget about the world and it's drama. the stage is too full of actors and actress who pretend to be kings and queens of this world. laugh while you can, the drapes can close anytime. when the show ends, the only thing you can hope is that you have laughed enough.
-priya prameshi
evelish thought of perception...
Betapa kejam hasil sebuah persepsi..
salah satu kejahatan yang paling dasyat adalah ketika pikiran manusia mulai bermain-main dipadang rumput persepsi, beratapkan hujan-hujan penilaian lengkap dengan kubangan-kubangan judgemental yang didasari oleh sesuatu yang maya dan mengatas-namakan kebenaran... Ah... seorang teman dekat meng-hi-lightnya dengan penggaris "pembunuhan karakter", dimana sesosok karakter dibunuh, di tikam, di hancurkan dan ditidurkan sampai batas waktu yang tidak ditentukan oleh sang penulis.
Kata kuncinya ada pada akhir kata, " sang-Penulis" kalau saja aku lupa akan keberadaan sang penulis, mungkin aku bisa gila menanggapi semua carikan-carikan persepsi manusia2 pencahar nasib disekitarku ini.
Dan tiba2.. kata "sang-Penulis" menjadi oase dalam perjalanan yang penuh darah dan air mata ini... Untung masih ada "sang-Penulis"... dan aku tak perlu lagi repot menjelaskan dan ikut bermain dalam ajang pertempuran persepsi yang ga penting ini.
Meskipun hujaman belati keris menusuk bertubi2 pada tengkuk ini, tapi aku masih berusaha untuk tidak meng-gubrisnya. Meskipun nasib ku seolah2 diperlakukan bak se-ekor anjing buduk yang berpenyakitan, dijauhi dan dihina, ( not to mention di omongin di belakang seolah2 tidak ada mata dibelakang-ku ini ).. tapi aku masih diam, setidaknya aku berusaha diam, dan sama sekali tidak berniat untuk membalas ataupun membela diri, karena aku tau, bila seketika aku membela diriku, maka aku masuk kedalam ring tinju pertempuran dan diwajibkan mengikuti keseluruhan pertempuran.
Gila yah,..ternyata persepsi manusia sekejam ini... bukan hanya persepsi para pemangsa disekitarku, bahkan betapa kejamnya persepsi ku sendiri terhadap mereka disekelilingku dan pada diriku sendiri. Gilaa.....
Aku mungkin memang terlihat sangat serius dalam bekerja, autis, kaca mata kuda apapun itu,.. akan tetapi ambisi merupakan satu kata yang sudah aku tinggalkan ribuan tahun yang lalu. Aku sama sekali tidak pernah menyentuh bahkan membelai kata2 itu sejak lama. Apalagi menjadikannya tabir tubuh dan pikiran. Hiyy....
Ambisi itu bagaikan candu,... mendekatkanmu pada jubah2 nafsu, kekuasaan, harta, popularitas etc... pada hal2 yang ingin aku cuci, tinggalkan dan tanggalkan. Tubuhku sudah terlalu renta dan bau untuk hal2 seperti itu. Tubuhku sudah terlalu renggas untuk aku pakai mengejar mimpi2 ambisi...
Aku sadar, aku akan mati setiap detik.. dan akan terlahir kembali dalam setiap depa waktu, dan mengejar ambisi hanya akan mempersingkat waktu aku "hidup" di surga ini.
Tapi tetap... sejauh apapun aku berlari, se-telanjang apapun aku ber-kharki.... manusia2 dengan belati2 persepsi berbondong2 berlari di belakang telingaku,...sambil membawa kantong2 ambisi yang katanya punya aku, padahal sama sekali bukan.
Aku letih,.. jujur aku letih...
aku ingin pulang, aku ingin bersandar, aku ingin terbangun tanpa sedikitpun persepsi, tanpa pikiran2 tentang persepsi orang2 berbelati disekitarku. Aku ingin ketenangan, ...
mengapa mereka tidak bisa mengerti, sejauh apapun mereka berusaha membuat aku benci, sejauh apapun mereka benci aku, aku hanya bisa mencoba memahami, .. mereka hanya tidak tau, mereka hanya kurang informasi, mereka hanya kurang paham tentang aku yang sebenarnya, mereka bermain2 dengan persepsi. Aku.. tetap cinta mereka semua, bahkan tanpa sedikitpun karena...
salah satu kejahatan yang paling dasyat adalah ketika pikiran manusia mulai bermain-main dipadang rumput persepsi, beratapkan hujan-hujan penilaian lengkap dengan kubangan-kubangan judgemental yang didasari oleh sesuatu yang maya dan mengatas-namakan kebenaran... Ah... seorang teman dekat meng-hi-lightnya dengan penggaris "pembunuhan karakter", dimana sesosok karakter dibunuh, di tikam, di hancurkan dan ditidurkan sampai batas waktu yang tidak ditentukan oleh sang penulis.
Kata kuncinya ada pada akhir kata, " sang-Penulis" kalau saja aku lupa akan keberadaan sang penulis, mungkin aku bisa gila menanggapi semua carikan-carikan persepsi manusia2 pencahar nasib disekitarku ini.
Dan tiba2.. kata "sang-Penulis" menjadi oase dalam perjalanan yang penuh darah dan air mata ini... Untung masih ada "sang-Penulis"... dan aku tak perlu lagi repot menjelaskan dan ikut bermain dalam ajang pertempuran persepsi yang ga penting ini.
Meskipun hujaman belati keris menusuk bertubi2 pada tengkuk ini, tapi aku masih berusaha untuk tidak meng-gubrisnya. Meskipun nasib ku seolah2 diperlakukan bak se-ekor anjing buduk yang berpenyakitan, dijauhi dan dihina, ( not to mention di omongin di belakang seolah2 tidak ada mata dibelakang-ku ini ).. tapi aku masih diam, setidaknya aku berusaha diam, dan sama sekali tidak berniat untuk membalas ataupun membela diri, karena aku tau, bila seketika aku membela diriku, maka aku masuk kedalam ring tinju pertempuran dan diwajibkan mengikuti keseluruhan pertempuran.
Gila yah,..ternyata persepsi manusia sekejam ini... bukan hanya persepsi para pemangsa disekitarku, bahkan betapa kejamnya persepsi ku sendiri terhadap mereka disekelilingku dan pada diriku sendiri. Gilaa.....
Aku mungkin memang terlihat sangat serius dalam bekerja, autis, kaca mata kuda apapun itu,.. akan tetapi ambisi merupakan satu kata yang sudah aku tinggalkan ribuan tahun yang lalu. Aku sama sekali tidak pernah menyentuh bahkan membelai kata2 itu sejak lama. Apalagi menjadikannya tabir tubuh dan pikiran. Hiyy....
Ambisi itu bagaikan candu,... mendekatkanmu pada jubah2 nafsu, kekuasaan, harta, popularitas etc... pada hal2 yang ingin aku cuci, tinggalkan dan tanggalkan. Tubuhku sudah terlalu renta dan bau untuk hal2 seperti itu. Tubuhku sudah terlalu renggas untuk aku pakai mengejar mimpi2 ambisi...
Aku sadar, aku akan mati setiap detik.. dan akan terlahir kembali dalam setiap depa waktu, dan mengejar ambisi hanya akan mempersingkat waktu aku "hidup" di surga ini.
Tapi tetap... sejauh apapun aku berlari, se-telanjang apapun aku ber-kharki.... manusia2 dengan belati2 persepsi berbondong2 berlari di belakang telingaku,...sambil membawa kantong2 ambisi yang katanya punya aku, padahal sama sekali bukan.
Aku letih,.. jujur aku letih...
aku ingin pulang, aku ingin bersandar, aku ingin terbangun tanpa sedikitpun persepsi, tanpa pikiran2 tentang persepsi orang2 berbelati disekitarku. Aku ingin ketenangan, ...
mengapa mereka tidak bisa mengerti, sejauh apapun mereka berusaha membuat aku benci, sejauh apapun mereka benci aku, aku hanya bisa mencoba memahami, .. mereka hanya tidak tau, mereka hanya kurang informasi, mereka hanya kurang paham tentang aku yang sebenarnya, mereka bermain2 dengan persepsi. Aku.. tetap cinta mereka semua, bahkan tanpa sedikitpun karena...
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
buddha bless us!
Pay no attention to the faults of others, things done or left undone by others.
Consider only what by oneself is done or undone.
Consider only what by oneself is done or undone.
Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart
give yourself to it.
give yourself to it.
Three things cannot be long hidden, the sun, the moon and the truth.
Learn from, but so not dwell in the past
be prepared for, but do not dream of the future
live in the present by concentrating your mind on the present moment.
be prepared for, but do not dream of the future
live in the present by concentrating your mind on the present moment.
To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own
in the midst of abundance.
in the midst of abundance.
All that we are is a result of what we have thought.
If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought,
pain follows him.
If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought,
happiness follows him
like a shadow that never leaves him.
If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought,
pain follows him.
If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought,
happiness follows him
like a shadow that never leaves him.
To keep the body in good health is a duty;
otherwise the mind is not strong and clear.
otherwise the mind is not strong and clear.
buddha bless us!
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
echo
petals...
bathe with sunrays
i'm inspired
by the foot steps of million angels marching
echoing freedom
fading between layers of churches, masjid, and synagogues..
vaporizing between laughter of million human smiles
enthusiasm me..
sink me in down to your sunny lullaby
and won me in.. on your hermit fight
bathe with sunrays
i'm inspired
by the foot steps of million angels marching
echoing freedom
fading between layers of churches, masjid, and synagogues..
vaporizing between laughter of million human smiles
enthusiasm me..
sink me in down to your sunny lullaby
and won me in.. on your hermit fight
my zahir
Indeed, freeing your self from an obsession is dreadful, painful, etc.. but one thing that i've learn that the more you eager to be free from him, the more you wanted to forgive and forget him, the deeper he will go sinking below your subconscious .. maybe all we have to do is simply stay still, and just embrace it, enjoy it while its still hot hehe.. :P watch him still, and ... being aware that we might need this experience and this experience will simply pass us by when the time is come, when we.. consciously and full of love letting them pass.. and i know its NOT easy... after all our emotion have a very powerful defense system.
God knows why but when a zahir of mine come to sight all i have to do is walk, probably a metaphor of trying to "walk"-away/running etc.. but i just realized that when our body is physically down or tired or our body is simply being focused to some gestures, suddenly the stillness come to sight under the rain of lights, and perishing all dark mist aside, leaving only the zahir it self, standing still in the center of nothing-ness waiting to be freed. And finally the true battle appear, will i free him away or will i let him stay another night under my starry sky..just like what i have did many times. Pffeww....
God knows why but when a zahir of mine come to sight all i have to do is walk, probably a metaphor of trying to "walk"-away/running etc.. but i just realized that when our body is physically down or tired or our body is simply being focused to some gestures, suddenly the stillness come to sight under the rain of lights, and perishing all dark mist aside, leaving only the zahir it self, standing still in the center of nothing-ness waiting to be freed. And finally the true battle appear, will i free him away or will i let him stay another night under my starry sky..just like what i have did many times. Pffeww....
Friday, August 21, 2009
zero gravity
Menyambut bulan "peregangan", "pelatihan", "peng-'anu'-an" atau bulan apapun itu dimana bulan ini mencakup didalamnya "pengampunan", "peng-hukuman", dan beribu kata lain dari "kemenangan"...
entah mengapa dari sejak awal mula aturan ini "diturunkan" ke manusia jumlahnya harus sebulan, entah teori dari mana seolah-olah manusia hanya butuh waktu 1 bulan untuk melakukan seluruh kegiatan pemutihan atau defregmentasi ini, padahal nominal waktu dalam bentuk kualitatif bentuknya sangat subjektif, seolah-olah manusia bisa digenerelisir dengan berbagai garis-garis pembenaran dibawahnya. Kenapa harus sebulan? mungkin jawabanya hanya se-sederhana " kenapa ngga ? "...
Berawal dari pembicaraan ringan sebelum pesen soto ceker tadi malam dengan sorang rekan, entar kesamber angin pantai mana tiba2 tercetus sebuah kalimat kotor "biasanya aku puasa ga mau maksa, kalo lapar atau haus ya minum ajah kaya anak sd,.... ga mau maksa, kalo maksa artinya ada nafsu dibelakangnya, yang artinya puasa kita sudah batal juga anyway.." sang rekan hanya menatap dengan pusing .... no comment..
sepulangnya, penggalan kata-kata ini bermain-main dipermukaan.
1. ada benarnya juga sih... tapi .. buan itukah intinya? belajar menahan semua keinginan, urge dan semua kebutuhan, judulnya "mengendalikan" sang binatang. pertanyaan berikutnya adalah: apakah iya.. mengendalikan "binatang" harus dengan kekerasan ? dengan re-straining dan semua wujudnya..??? tidak kah lebih indah dengan kasih sayang ?
2. ketika kita menahan semua keinginan ini, pada satu masa kita akan melihat diri kita yg lain muncul kepermukaan, bagian diri kita yang mungkin sama sekali ga kita kenal selama ini. Pernah ga berada dalam suatu kondisi terjepit dan pada saat itu kita akan menatap diri kita yg lain muncul kepermukaan, bedanya kondisi terjepit ini kali ini kita kondisikan...
mungkin juga sih...
3. hal2 yang harus di"tahan" ketika puasa: makan, minum, amarah dan lust. dimana semuanya ini bermuara pada satu kata "nafs" tapi sering kali NAFS yang sebenarnya sama sekali tidak berhubungan dengan makan, minum dan amarah maupun nafsu.
mungkin ini puasa sebenarnya yang 10.000 kali lebih sulit, bagaimana menahan atau mengendalikan NAFS walaupun kita sedang makan, minum, marah dan bernafsu... kenyataanya makan minum marah dan nafsu merupakan hal yg sangan alamiah for being a human, tapi "mengendalikan"-nya adalaj hal yg sulit..
4. apa yg akan terjadi ketika kita menahan nafsu tapi dengan nafsu juga? agak ironis bukan? kita seperti kehilangan "inti"-nya... walopun di kitab2 dan hadist-hadist dikatakan tentang menggunakan nafsu demi kebaikan. Sepertinya sebuah interpretasi yg agak aneh, mengendalikan nafsu dengan baik sepertinya terjemahan yang lebih tepat, again nafsu juga bukannya seperti sebuah penyakit kudis yang harus kita hindari, karena dia sudah menjadi template bagian dari standart operating sytem yang dimiliki oleh sesosok manusia bumi, sehingga nafsu ini lebih baik dikenali dengan baik sehingga dikemudian hari tidak akan mendaji biang kerok dalam perjalanan kita ini.
5. berniat puasa demi pemahaman dan kasih sayang JELAS jauh lebih kompleks dan sulit ketimbang hanya karena mengikuti tradisi turun temurun.
6. dan bagian terakhir yang paling complex dari semuanya dalam perjalanan kali ini adalah "membiarkan segala sesuatunya mengalir apa adanya.." seperti kembali jadi anak SD,.. tanpa beban, tanpa tuntutan, prasangka dan judgement. Karena ini lah yang dibilang kembali SUCI.. bukan dengan diamaafkannya semua dosa2 kita, bukan dengan terhapusnya dosa2 kita sebelumnya, tapi membiarkan diri kita kembali menjadi bayi, anak2.. dimana melakukan sesuatu purely tanpa beban dan membiarkannya mengalir... termasuk dalam puasa.. dan pada masa ini lah kita bisa berbangga mengaku-ngaku telah "menang"... karena kita telah berhasil telanjang tanpa mengenakan atribut dan jubah2, kharki2 megah.. ini lah kostum yang paling layak ketika idul fitri..
selamat menikmati....
Monday, July 27, 2009
taking chance on happiness
Yet, everybody in this face of the earth is seek for it,
trying to achieve it in any possible way, even put a fight upon it
And sometimes they take someone elses lives just on its behalf
They lie upon it, crying upon it and not few people actually die
On the name of it...
But..
Not so many people really taking chance on it.
Some just put this grandure idea of it in a tiny box and
Locked it safe, its so safe that some just lost it inside him self
And yet... How ironic it is,
Some people die upon it, and some just gave it away, lost it and
Never even wanted to taking a chance on it.
trying to achieve it in any possible way, even put a fight upon it
And sometimes they take someone elses lives just on its behalf
They lie upon it, crying upon it and not few people actually die
On the name of it...
But..
Not so many people really taking chance on it.
Some just put this grandure idea of it in a tiny box and
Locked it safe, its so safe that some just lost it inside him self
And yet... How ironic it is,
Some people die upon it, and some just gave it away, lost it and
Never even wanted to taking a chance on it.
taking chance on happiness
Yet, everybody in this face of the earth is seek for it,
trying to achieve it in any possible way, even put a fight upon it
And sometimes they take someone elses lives just on its behalf
They lie upon it, crying upon it and not few people actually die
On the name of it...
But..
Not so many people really taking chance on it.
Some just put this grandure idea of it in a tiny box and
Locked it safe, its so safe that some just lost it inside him self
And yet... How ironic it is,
Some people die upon it, and some just gave it away, lost it and
Never even wanted to taking a chance on it.
trying to achieve it in any possible way, even put a fight upon it
And sometimes they take someone elses lives just on its behalf
They lie upon it, crying upon it and not few people actually die
On the name of it...
But..
Not so many people really taking chance on it.
Some just put this grandure idea of it in a tiny box and
Locked it safe, its so safe that some just lost it inside him self
And yet... How ironic it is,
Some people die upon it, and some just gave it away, lost it and
Never even wanted to taking a chance on it.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Pasangan Jiwa
ketika ia merasuk reguh kedalam tempayan madu berisi candu
lalu terhuyung lemas aku menari diatas bantalan2 mimpi
mabuk bak lalat yang sedang berpesta diatas gundukan sumpah serapah
ketika ia menangis ditepian sungai yang meranggas
meneteskan darah dibalik cadar putih
dalam genggaman ribuan janji-janji palsu
ah.. aku sudah tau
aku sudah tau..
aku sudah tau..
semua itu semu, fatamorgana, bayangan tanpa cahaya
bulan tanpa matahari, gaung tanpa suara..
lalu aku dibuatnya lemas tak berdaya
....
aku sudah tau ..
dengan segala pantulan cahaya disisi kananya
memancar wacana tanpa sebab, tanpa akibat, tanpa alasan pasti..
hanya sebongkah sekelibat masa ketika
pada saat kami "pernah" masih jadi satu...
ketika matahari terbenam di timur dan waktu adalah perdu-perdu berdaun tajam dipinggiran masa yang layu
aku sudah tau...
aku sudah tau...
ah...
aku sudah tau....
lalu terhuyung lemas aku menari diatas bantalan2 mimpi
mabuk bak lalat yang sedang berpesta diatas gundukan sumpah serapah
ketika ia menangis ditepian sungai yang meranggas
meneteskan darah dibalik cadar putih
dalam genggaman ribuan janji-janji palsu
ah.. aku sudah tau
aku sudah tau..
aku sudah tau..
semua itu semu, fatamorgana, bayangan tanpa cahaya
bulan tanpa matahari, gaung tanpa suara..
lalu aku dibuatnya lemas tak berdaya
....
aku sudah tau ..
dengan segala pantulan cahaya disisi kananya
memancar wacana tanpa sebab, tanpa akibat, tanpa alasan pasti..
hanya sebongkah sekelibat masa ketika
pada saat kami "pernah" masih jadi satu...
ketika matahari terbenam di timur dan waktu adalah perdu-perdu berdaun tajam dipinggiran masa yang layu
aku sudah tau...
aku sudah tau...
ah...
aku sudah tau....
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
belum selesai...01
terus membaca...
diatas kertas2 kepercayaan yang berserakan diatas meja-meja mimpi
meskipun tertatih dan meringis
dengan air mata yang bercecer diantara serpihan2 harapan
meninggalkan puing-puing gema masa lalu yang telah penuh dengan debu-debu
diatas kertas2 kepercayaan yang berserakan diatas meja-meja mimpi
meskipun tertatih dan meringis
dengan air mata yang bercecer diantara serpihan2 harapan
meninggalkan puing-puing gema masa lalu yang telah penuh dengan debu-debu
i dont wanna wait in vain anymore...
From the very first time I rest my eyes on you,boy
My heart said follow through but I know now
That Im way down on your line
But the waiting feelings fine
So dont treat me like a puppet on a string
Because I know how to do my thing
Dont talk to me as if you think Im dumb
I wanna know when youre gotta come,you see
*i dont wanna wait in a vain for your love
I dont wanna wait in a vain for your love
I dont wanna wait in a vain for your love
cause sommer is here
And Im still waiting there
Winter is here
Im still waiting there
Like I said
Its been three years since Im knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
Ooh boy,ooh boy,is it crazy look,i wanna know now
For I to knock some more,you see
In life I know
That there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While Im waitin
While Im waitin for my turn,you see
(*repeat)
Like I said-
I dont wanna,i dont wanna
I dont wanna,i dont wanna
I dont wanna wait in vain
I dont wanna,i dont wanna
I dont wanna,i dont wanna
I dont wanna wait in vain
Its been three years since Im knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
Ooh boy,ooh boy,is it crazy look,i wanna know now
Like I said,the tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While Im waiting
While Im waiting for my turn,you see
Ooh boy,ooh boy,is it crazy look,i wanna know now
For I to knock some more
In life I know there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief
My heart said follow through but I know now
That Im way down on your line
But the waiting feelings fine
So dont treat me like a puppet on a string
Because I know how to do my thing
Dont talk to me as if you think Im dumb
I wanna know when youre gotta come,you see
*i dont wanna wait in a vain for your love
I dont wanna wait in a vain for your love
I dont wanna wait in a vain for your love
cause sommer is here
And Im still waiting there
Winter is here
Im still waiting there
Like I said
Its been three years since Im knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
Ooh boy,ooh boy,is it crazy look,i wanna know now
For I to knock some more,you see
In life I know
That there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While Im waitin
While Im waitin for my turn,you see
(*repeat)
Like I said-
I dont wanna,i dont wanna
I dont wanna,i dont wanna
I dont wanna wait in vain
I dont wanna,i dont wanna
I dont wanna,i dont wanna
I dont wanna wait in vain
Its been three years since Im knocking on your door
And still I can knock some more
Ooh boy,ooh boy,is it crazy look,i wanna know now
Like I said,the tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn
While Im waiting
While Im waiting for my turn,you see
Ooh boy,ooh boy,is it crazy look,i wanna know now
For I to knock some more
In life I know there is lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Sunday, March 29, 2009
asli..
saat ini dan sekarang
bisu dan bergelombang
surut tanpa rembulan
menangis diatas ratusan kuburan kenisbian
berpayung kehampaan
meratap seru tergaruk keputus asaan..
aku sedang tenggelam
dalam titik terendah kekosongan
asli..
rasanya dingin dan sendiri
dinding2 mulai berlumut dan hawa mulai berat dan kusut..
asli..
rasanya benar2 asli..
seperti manusia...
asli ..
akhirnya aku berasa 'hidup'
bisu dan bergelombang
surut tanpa rembulan
menangis diatas ratusan kuburan kenisbian
berpayung kehampaan
meratap seru tergaruk keputus asaan..
aku sedang tenggelam
dalam titik terendah kekosongan
asli..
rasanya dingin dan sendiri
dinding2 mulai berlumut dan hawa mulai berat dan kusut..
asli..
rasanya benar2 asli..
seperti manusia...
asli ..
akhirnya aku berasa 'hidup'
Saturday, March 07, 2009
G.02 - Au Voir
Exhausted in dappled corner
Suffocated in each faded image of you
Shifting between pages in vagueness
And wondered around between realities and decapitate mind
Are you still there?
I can hear you running, between pale silent whispers
Vomited behind tall tree of gestures
I can smell you vanishing…
Evaporating between mists of lies…
Suppose your golden compass finally defined
Suppose reality have smack you back to the ground
Suppose.. She was waiting for you there
Behind curtain of faith and despair
In her soft wide wing of remorse
I suppose…
I'm running out of tears to leak
And running out of faith to convey
Wish I could spit it out of loud...
Come home when you are silent
Come home when you are resting
Come home when you just ...simply ...feel like it…
But I don’t think I will be here anymore
I’m through..
Au voir..
Sunday, March 01, 2009
aku ingin
WHAT exactly that i want?
aku ingin segenggam bahagia dengan sejumput rempah-rempah kesendirian
dalam pundi-pundi semesta,yang berdentang
resah menyambut liukan penari bercadar kasih pada matanya..
tak bisakah ia kembai melihat?
aku ingin ia, kesturi yang kuhirup dari ujung sendiku yang meringkih tua
aku ingin ia, panas serdadu nafsu dengan panah2 keakuan berderak gemulai
aku ingn ia, juntai lemas air suci pembabtis para pendosa
aku ingin ia, mereka dan semua.
meratap senja
mengadu sunyi
menangis riuh
lalu melesap hilang diantara tanah yang berjelaga.
aku ingin hilang.
tanpa merasa, hanya bergerak menuju ia
dengan tatapan pada ujung lirik
dengan tangannya yang mengkilat dan sejuk, menunggu diujung sana
siap merengkuh tanganku yang telah kotor bermain dunia
tanpa makna, tanpa maksud, hanya menanti..
lalu perlahan aku merapatkan jariku pada kepalnya
dan ia merengkuhku dengan segenap jiwa yang tersingkap dari balik jubahnya
dengan senyum dan tawa
lalu kami berjalan bersama
meniti gurun kering yang bermandiakn oase syurga
sampai kau ihat diujung sana.?
titik kami akan menghilang dibalik fatamorgana.
aku ingin segenggam bahagia dengan sejumput rempah-rempah kesendirian
dalam pundi-pundi semesta,yang berdentang
resah menyambut liukan penari bercadar kasih pada matanya..
tak bisakah ia kembai melihat?
aku ingin ia, kesturi yang kuhirup dari ujung sendiku yang meringkih tua
aku ingin ia, panas serdadu nafsu dengan panah2 keakuan berderak gemulai
aku ingn ia, juntai lemas air suci pembabtis para pendosa
aku ingin ia, mereka dan semua.
meratap senja
mengadu sunyi
menangis riuh
lalu melesap hilang diantara tanah yang berjelaga.
aku ingin hilang.
tanpa merasa, hanya bergerak menuju ia
dengan tatapan pada ujung lirik
dengan tangannya yang mengkilat dan sejuk, menunggu diujung sana
siap merengkuh tanganku yang telah kotor bermain dunia
tanpa makna, tanpa maksud, hanya menanti..
lalu perlahan aku merapatkan jariku pada kepalnya
dan ia merengkuhku dengan segenap jiwa yang tersingkap dari balik jubahnya
dengan senyum dan tawa
lalu kami berjalan bersama
meniti gurun kering yang bermandiakn oase syurga
sampai kau ihat diujung sana.?
titik kami akan menghilang dibalik fatamorgana.
G.01
kau dengar itu?
geliatan takdir berdengung menggema
hanya kali ini bukan gaung yang terngiang
berdiri diantaranya satu wajah nyawa bergelanyut, bergantung, bertapa
diantara hembusan rasa yang menyapu lembut penjuru dada
memenuhi setiap are yang tersisa..
bahkan ketika kosong pun yang terbersit hawa nafasnya..
sial ..
ia berhasil menyublim sejumput amarah dengan ratusan mimpi indah
menjadi sejuntai benang merah menganga...
berusaha mengikat kelingkingku dengan segenggam luka lama
lagi-lagi aku sial..
akhirnya
setelah sekian lama
aku jatuh juga..
dengan kepak sayap rapuh
pada saat aku berfikir untuk berlabuh..
ia hanyut terbawa perahu yang meratap jauh...
sial..
geliatan takdir berdengung menggema
hanya kali ini bukan gaung yang terngiang
berdiri diantaranya satu wajah nyawa bergelanyut, bergantung, bertapa
diantara hembusan rasa yang menyapu lembut penjuru dada
memenuhi setiap are yang tersisa..
bahkan ketika kosong pun yang terbersit hawa nafasnya..
sial ..
ia berhasil menyublim sejumput amarah dengan ratusan mimpi indah
menjadi sejuntai benang merah menganga...
berusaha mengikat kelingkingku dengan segenggam luka lama
lagi-lagi aku sial..
akhirnya
setelah sekian lama
aku jatuh juga..
dengan kepak sayap rapuh
pada saat aku berfikir untuk berlabuh..
ia hanyut terbawa perahu yang meratap jauh...
sial..
Sunday, February 22, 2009
no more
i will give up waiting
no more waiting
no more waiting
no more waiting
its time to moving on
evolving
transcending
no more you
fake promises
lies and more lies
no more
no more
no more
no more waiting
no more waiting
no more waiting
its time to moving on
evolving
transcending
no more you
fake promises
lies and more lies
no more
no more
no more
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
everything you do
I love the way you smile
When I look in your eyes
I love the way you laugh
When I try to be funny
And how a tear rolls down your face
When I say no one could
ever take your place.
And baby when you sleep
I watch you breathing
And baby when you dream
I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where
I wanna be
It's true everything you do
Makes me know how much I love you.
The way you touch my lips
Right after every kiss
And softly whisper
That I'm your everything
The way you pray
Our love won't die
Every night just before you
Close your eyes.
And baby when you sleep
I watch you breathing
Baby when you dream
I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where
I wanna be
It's true everything you do
Makes me know how much I love you.
And I believe some things are
meant to be
As sure as there is love
yours is meant for me.
Baby when you sleep
I watch you breathing
Baby when you dream
I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where
I wanna be
It's true everything you do
Makes me know how much
I love you..
( christian bautista )
When I look in your eyes
I love the way you laugh
When I try to be funny
And how a tear rolls down your face
When I say no one could
ever take your place.
And baby when you sleep
I watch you breathing
And baby when you dream
I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where
I wanna be
It's true everything you do
Makes me know how much I love you.
The way you touch my lips
Right after every kiss
And softly whisper
That I'm your everything
The way you pray
Our love won't die
Every night just before you
Close your eyes.
And baby when you sleep
I watch you breathing
Baby when you dream
I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where
I wanna be
It's true everything you do
Makes me know how much I love you.
And I believe some things are
meant to be
As sure as there is love
yours is meant for me.
Baby when you sleep
I watch you breathing
Baby when you dream
I dream with you
Cause everywhere you are is where
I wanna be
It's true everything you do
Makes me know how much
I love you..
( christian bautista )
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
resolution
i dont know what to do
i dont know what i want
what do i want?
i want to live
im craving for freedom
ive been indulge by sorrow too long
i want love
no,..thats a lie
im surrounded by million
i want money
only to survive
i want happiness
undefined..
i want enjoying life
only to forget
i want orgasm
ambiguity and guilt in result
not worthed..
i want bed
even bed rejected me
attachment only conceive despair
i want nothing
bollocks..
i want freedom
imprison by my self to bind
i want the truth
it will hurts, not ready, never ready..
i want trust
in hand full of lie
i want anything but my self
egoistic!!
bollocks! see? i really really dont know what i want
i dont know what i want
what do i want?
i want to live
im craving for freedom
ive been indulge by sorrow too long
i want love
no,..thats a lie
im surrounded by million
i want money
only to survive
i want happiness
undefined..
i want enjoying life
only to forget
i want orgasm
ambiguity and guilt in result
not worthed..
i want bed
even bed rejected me
attachment only conceive despair
i want nothing
bollocks..
i want freedom
imprison by my self to bind
i want the truth
it will hurts, not ready, never ready..
i want trust
in hand full of lie
i want anything but my self
egoistic!!
bollocks! see? i really really dont know what i want
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